So in today’s amazing article by the grand and glorious BBB we’ll be discussing FB and the people that drive me nuts!

The first culprit is the “My facebook picture is an inanimate object” guy.

We all know this guy, he’s got a car as his profile image. Are you a Transformer? Because that’s fucking awesome, bro. Can you let Optimus know I think he’s a dick? Starscream FTW.
Did you get a chain letter about changing your profile image to stop pedophiles? Hey Snoopy! Wait, Popeye?  Betty Boop? Damn you people are old. Why are you even on Facebook?

Is that…oh boy, it is, great!

Creeper/Stalker This is the guy who goes into your pictures from years ago, and starts liking them/commenting. You know it’s weird, but you’re like “hey, maybe he just stumbled onto an old album”. Then what happens? That bitch be liking all your statuses and shit. ALL of them. It’s still not that bad, right? You log on , immediately “HEY WHATS UP”.  Fuck that noise.  The only cure is extermination. block that nonsense. IRL mwahaha.

Next?!

Duckface. You all know her. Every single picture, there she is. Could she simpy smile? Nope! Instead she extends her hideous beak, peels back her face, and tilts her head in something exorcism-esque. You start looking for your Nintendo Zapper . At this point you realize that dog is about to laugh in your face. Shit. Fuck you, dog! There is no cure so far. Keep your Zapper at the ready, for you must be prepared to combat the DF at all costs. Think of the children.

Duckface, be ready.

Whoa who is that coming around the corner? Is that…? Fffffuuuuuuuuuu, it is. You look at the name tag “Hello, my name is: I REPOST CHAIN LETTERS/B.S./SPAM YOUR FEED WITH SHIT ABOUT DEAD GIRLS AND AIDS AND SHIT   dickbag” Just kidding, no one cares about AIDS. Unless you’ve got it. Tough luck, kid.I’d like to introduce you to snopes.com, He will guide you down the 12 steps to sobering up from this horrendous trolling. Peace be with you, brother.

Aw fuck, holy shit, here it comes.

The Illiterate “Hy, hmu i’m brd.”. It’s not fucking twitter, you’ve got space, shit. “NoT KeWl, Ur MeeN”. Yes, yes I am. You should go and find some books. They’ll raise that intelligence stat by leaps and bounds.  Notably, these people usually duckface.

And my least favorite person,

Compliment fisherman.
You all know this girl/guy/douche.  Posting sexy/flexing pics, with the comments “I’m so ugly” or replying to your pictures with “I wish I was as X as you”. Admit it, as you read that, you thought of at least two. These people are usually the same people who like to “:(” and when you ask wtf is wrong, you get “I don’t want to talk about it”.

Sideliners: Grandma, Fake nerd, I have to say hello and goodnight to facebook.